Secrets
by ChainGangHottieWithKillerLegsx
Summary: This Story is for EmmaGraham! When CM Punk finds out he something about himself, will he let anyone in? Will he tell his girlfriend what is going on? CM Punk/Maria Pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is for EmmaGraham, Hope they enjoy it! :)**

**PLOT: When CM Punk finds out he something about himself, will he let anyone in? **

**Will he tell his girlfriend what is going on? x x x**

* * *

He stood at 6'2, he weighed in at 218 pounds, he scared people that was his job inside of that squared circle, as he ran a hand lazily through his dark hair, he didn't know when he began to feel this way, all he knew was he just did but why? Was what he kept asking himself.

He assumed it was the stress, you know of being on top for a whole calendar year, it apparently stresses you out being the top dog, the face, the trend setter and all that stuff or so he was told, but in fairness he looked as good as he ever had and felt like he was in the best condition he could be in or so he thought, CM Punk was the type of guy who just rolled with the punches, took what came, took what was his, what he wanted and needed.

Recently he has started feeling off, and he couldn't put his finger on it, this is what annoyed him. He liked to be in control of everything, he had routines that he had in place such as; Meal Times, Diet Plans, Work Outs, Socialising Hours, they were all accounted for in his daily routines, just the way he liked it.

CM Punk, had won, yet again, now there's a surprise, huh? He shook his head, he was the best in the world. Winning was second nature to him these days.

He walked slowly around backstage after his win, almost in a daze, his stomach was knotted in pain, he didn't know what it could have been, had he taken a knock out there?

That would explain the reason why he had pain there, surely?

Something ran through the back of his mind, he had been suffering from these pains for the past couple of weeks what if something was wrong?

He groaned low almost inaudibly as he lay down in his locker room, closing his eyes as if he could just wish away his pain.

When his eyes closed he almost felt happy, like he was in peace, then his eyes jumped open at her touch, as the pain seared around inside of him once more, he knew who's touch it was before his eyes opened and his gaze locked on hers, _"Baby" _He groaned, _"Surprise!" _The red headed ex-diva smiled at him, she was back from Los Angeles and that made him happy, he hated sleeping in hotel rooms without her being there beside him to hold and distract him from how he feels, he sat up slowly, _"You ok baby?" _She spoke again when she saw him wince as he sat up, and the look of concern in her eyes was killing him, he didn't want to burden her with his problems, but then a part of him thinks he should tell her that he's in pain, that he needs help, but then he dismisses it instantly, standing up, _"Yeah just glad you're back" _He says sweetly, pulling her towards him for a kiss.

* * *

Maria watched her dark haired boyfriend with some uncertainty, there was something off about him today, he had taken her out for a meal as it was her first night back together with him in just over three weeks, but she swears she can see him visibly wincing ever so often, gritting his teeth.

"_You ok Red?" _She looks up in to his eyes and she smiles, his voice soft and low when using her nickname, she's unsure whether to approach him about her concerns or whether it's in her mind, so she simple smiles, _"Yeah, just tired, it was a long flight" _She says and it isn't a lie, it had been a long flight.

"_Don't worry, I'll take you home soon baby" _He says as he covers her smaller hand with his larger hand.

* * *

It was then when he got home he had realised his stabbing pains hadn't happened during dinner and he was thankful for that, he felt a few pains, he thought he'd disguised them well, with the gritting of his teeth when his gorgeous girlfriend wasn't looking, or so he thought.

It was only late at night, when his red headed girl was curled up in his arms, resting against his chest that the pains started again.

He rolled his eyes, he was in for a long night, he sighed.

* * *

**A/N 2: Sorry it is a short chapter, but it's all FF would allow me to upload, the next chapter will be longer :) **

** Please Read And Review x x x**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This is for EmmaGraham, Hope they enjoy it! :)**

**PLOT: When CM Punk finds out he something about himself, will he let anyone in? **

**Will he tell his girlfriend what is going on? x x x**

* * *

He couldn't remember the last time he had woken up and he hadn't felt any pain, he was barely half awake, when he could still feel his girlfriend's warm breath against his skin as she slept soundly next to him, this made him happy, happier than he had been in a while, he had her back in his arms where she belonged, he now no longer felt lost.

When he saw the small smile on her face as she slept, she looked so genuinely at ease and it sort of put him at ease, his mind began to relax and he drifted off back to sleep, subconsciously pulling the red head closer to him.

It wasn't long before his alarm was blearing out from behind him, he groaned slightly at the loss of contact of the red head, as he rolled over to hit his alarm clock off, it was the first time he had felt pain that day, he winced, how he hated feeling like this, especially when he didn't really understand why or what caused it.

_"Morning Handsome" _I heard the red head say from behind me, she is still laying down when I turn to look at her _"Well hello there yourself" _I say with a smirk, her hair all messed up rocking her bed head mop of hair sprawled out on the pillow.

_"So you got plans for today?" _I ask her as I kiss her lips gently for a second before pulling away, just the sight of her in the morning took my breath away, she always looked so cute.

_"Going to meet up with some of the girls for lunch, since you will be at work" _She says sitting up, _"But, I was thinking we could have a shower.. together like now" _I heard her say as she wraps her arms around my neck.

_"I'd love too baby" _I say as I let out a chuckle, maybe things were finally looking up, no pain as of yet and my beautiful girlfriend was back, all in all today was definitely a good day.

* * *

I started to feel more confident, especially after last night, when I saw him gritting his teeth during dinner and groaning when I touched him, but that could be seen in one of two ways good or bad, but last night it was definitely the latter unlike this morning, in bed and in the shower, maybe he was just having an off day yesterday.

in fairness I had been gone for a couple of weeks, I understood his schedule it took a lot out of him, I saw his work load take it's toll on him, but it was something he enjoyed doing, he loved showing people he was 'The Best In The World' and she was happy for him to be that, even though she was no longer part of that world anymore, she was more into Fashion Shoots and Modelling these days.

Sometimes I wish I was still part of his world, so I could spend more time with him, even if it was so I could keep an eye on him, even if I know he didn't need my guidance in this world.

* * *

Part of me is strong and the other is weak, sometimes I think I live in a parallel universe from other people, I am 'The Best In The World', the master manipulator, and then on the other hand, I was the guy who hid behind a mask, hid behind a door, wincing in pain, trying to hold it together.

When did this become my life?

How many people could I hide from?

How many times could I avoid the problem?

What was wrong with me?

* * *

_"Good day?" _I ask when he comes back, _"Yeah babe, it was good, just long, the usual, what about you? Have fun catching up with the girls?" _He asks me, and I notice he didn't really answer my question, he only gave me a brief summary of his day, he used to go into details, who and what he had been doing things with, and suddenly ( well not really so suddenly, it had been three months now) that he came back and didn't really elaborate any further than a 'good', 'ok' or 'long' day and that would be the end of it.

Whereas before it used to be a lot more emotions, _"Yeah babe, me and John are doing to build up promo's for Money In The Bank, it's going to be great" _She misses that.

She doesn't doubt that his passion is there, she knows it is.

She just misses the old him, the guy she met when she was still on the active roster, who was playing a "Straight Edge" guy but he had been so much more than that.

Passionate.

Driven.

Motivated.

She doesn't doubt that the qualities she loves in him are still there, it is just he hides them now.

Masked behind something.

* * *

I watch her and I know she's watching me trying to figure it out, but to be honest I'm trying to figure it our myself.

What was I supposed to tell her? When I didn't actually know what there was to say.

**A/N 2: Sorry it's taken a while! I shall try and update as soon as I can :)**

** Please Read And Review x x x**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This is for EmmaGraham, Hope they enjoy it! :)**

**PLOT: When CM Punk finds out he something about himself, will he let anyone in? **

**Will he tell his girlfriend what is going on? x x x**

* * *

Because of all the pain I had been suffering from, I pushed away the people closest to me, my girlfriend, my so called best friend and manager, now I was alone.

All because I didn't want to live up to the fact there could be something wrong.

That's how I ended up here, in the hospital, having CT Scans, MRI scans.

_Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock..._

My mind began to flash back to the two stupid things that had happened last night to bring me to the decision to stop being a jerk and actually take responsibility for my actions.

I needed to stop living in the sugar coated world that was the WWE and the WWE universe, I needed to get out into the real nitty gritty world that was my life, my pain, my condition...

* * *

"_Punk, are you listening to me?" He heard Paul's voice break through my thoughts once again._

"_W-What?" I asked him._

"_I asked you what your game plan was when going up against John Cena?" He says immediately, exasperatedly._

"_I'll do what I do best, be the best in the world" I joke._

"_Punk..." He says in a warning tone of voice._

"_Look Paul, I'm not asking you for advice right now, I just wanted to spend time on my own before I go out there" I didn't need him there right now._

"_Ok, Fine" It's as if he's given up trying now._

_I lost the match..._

_Paul was furious._

_I still wasn't the WWE Champion, John Cena was, even my best wasn't good enough._

* * *

"_Baby, my flight has been moved forward" The red headed woman said as she walked into our bedroom._

"_Oh" I said, the pain starting to come back stronger now, I was back in the hotel room._

"_Yeah something about one of the other models phoning in sick so I have to be in LA and New York within like four hours" She explains._

"_Ok" It's the only word I can really get out at the time._

"_Is that all you're going to say?" She seems slightly angry, annoyed even._

"_What?" I ask, now I'm angry, trying to ignore the pain._

"_I expected at least a 'baby, that's great you're doing more work, I'm going to miss you though' kinda thing" She goes on, as she is starting to sort out her bag._

"_Maria" I say trying to get her attention._

"_No it's fine, I'll just go now since, it's what you want, to be on your own" She says, shoving everything into her bag._

_There was an awkward silence hanging in the air and I hated it._

"_How long will you be gone for?" I ask her, as she is about to walk out the door._

"_Do you care?" She asks._

"_Course I do" I retort._

"_You have a funny way of showing it" She responds._

"_Fine, just go, call me when you land or whatever" I say snarl._

_And then she is gone, and I'm all alone, like a jackass._

_I decided later that night I decided I needed to go and get myself checked over._

_I needed to face up to the reality, that was my life..._

_I couldn't hide from this any more._

_I couldn't play the victim anymore._

* * *

Because of all the pain I had been suffering from, I pushed away the people closest to me, my girlfriend, my so called best friend and manager, now I was alone.

All because I didn't want to live up to the fact there could be something wrong.

That's how I ended up here, in the hospital, having CT Scans, MRI scans.

_Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock..._

I felt like I had been here an eternity already, but in reality it had only been a couple of hours.

_"Mr Brooks?" _I heard my name being summoned.

_"Yeah that's me" _I say standing up, to greet the taller, older man in front of me

_"Come right this way" _He says, opening the door and leading me into his consulting room.

**A/N 2: Sorry it's taken a while! I shall try and update as soon as I can :)**

** Please Read And Review x x x**


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Thank you for being so patient guys, had no internet or laptop for about a month! **_

_**And have been trying to get up to date with my Glee 365 challenge, so this has taken a backseat to that, this was supposed to be longer but I have only this part saved, so I'll try and update another chapter as soon as I can now I have the internet and laptop back :)**_

_**So before I blabber on too much, enjoy Chapter 4 :) x**_

* * *

"_So Mr Brooks I know it was a lot of information to digest, is there someone I can call for you?"_

"_Ummm... yeah, my girlfriend, she's my next of kin"_

"_Right I can get someone on to it, right away"_

He sits there taking all the words in, and he's not sure if he can cope, he feels so sick and he's so upset.

It's the one word in the human language that terrifies most people.

It's killing him.

He's not even sure whether Maria will come, he's not sure if she's on her plane yet, or when she was coming back, god he feels like an ass.

* * *

"_Phill...?" _She says his name, he doesn't know how long he's been there for.

"_Oh my god" _She says when she sees him crying, and she's never seen her boyfriend of all these years cry, _"What's going on?" _She says holding his hand, and looking up at him with tears in her eyes, and he just stays silent, just watching her like he's staring into her soul.

"_When they called me today to say I was your next of kin, I was blown away that you trusted me so much" _She says, then he shoots her this look that was as if she looked foreign to her.

"_M, you are the only person I truly trust, I mean, I love you"_He says staring into her eyes, he doesn't let her say anything as he is already saying something before she can say those three words back to him, even if he knows she loves him, _"I have.. um... symptoms of pancreatic cancer" _He whispers, dropping her hand.

"_Phill I-" _She grabs his hand back, forcing him to look up at her.

"_They don't know how serious it is, or if it actually is cancer, what am I supposed to do?" _He says running his hand through his dark hair, he's nervous, almost out of sync with himself.

"_I will stand by you, if it is or isn't cancer, me and you, all the way, I love you too, I'm not ready to lose you yet" _She says honestly, because she actually doesn't know what she'll do if it's really the C word, she doesn't want to think about it, he's her world.

* * *

In that soppy, romantic way, Phill Brooks is Maria's world, he has been since the day he asked her out three years ago, and that wasn't even a romantic thing...

"_**Hey red" She looks up from her microphone she was using in her last scene she had been filming, to find Phill Brooks AKA CM Punk, current WWE Champion standing nest to her.**_

"_**Hey champ" She says, wondering what he wants from her?**_

"_**I was wondering if me and you could grab a drink or something some time?" He comes out with it casually like it's a normal thing.**_

"_**Um yeah, sounds great" She responds trying to sound casual but her heart is racing, pumping like it's doing somersaults.**_

"_**Great" He says, before walking away looking back and saying "I'll see you later then Red"**_

* * *

"_Maria?" _She hears him call her name outloud.

"_Hmmm..." _She mumbles.

"_I need to have some more tests done, can you.." _His voice sounds small, weak, unlike the one he normally inhibits.

"_I'm coming, I'm not leaving you ok?" _She says, trying to stop the tears from falling, she needs to be strong for him.

* * *

_**A/N 2: Please Read And Review x x x**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Thank you for the reviews and interest in this story, so I've been slow with the updates, just finding it hard to try and update all the stories I have at the same time! **_

_**Anyway here is chapter five, enjoy x x x**_

* * *

He woke up, he took in his surroundings slowly, white ceiling, white walls, white floors, it was all closing in on him, he is broken out of his own thoughts by the sound of a steady beeping, it's his own heartbeat.

He remembers being taken for more tests to determine what it was that was the root of his pain, and then they decided to keep him in for 'observations' as they said, trying to determine what triggers the pain he thinks.

He moves his head slowly to the right and finds the red head curled in a chair, a small smile graces his face to find her still here, he's glad she is, just because she's been so strong since finding out he might have pancreatic cancer, stronger than he's being anyway.

He used to be being the strong one.

He used to being the brave one.

He used to being the best in the world, not this mess in front of her.

He's actually quite surprised to see she's stronger than he thought, she still came back even after he was a total jackass to her.

He knows she's the only one he'd let in after having restraining orders on his mother, and his father is still battling his demons, Maria is all he actually has, but then he thinks about it and realises she's probably all he needs in the end.

Everyone else just is a parasite, leeching off his fame and fortune, she isn't, she has her own success in the modelling the world, and yet when he was at his lowest, at his weakest, here she was standing by him.

* * *

"_Hey, you're awake" _She says as soon as her eyes fall on the man in the hospital bed a few feet away from her, she stands up to greet him, _"How you feeling?" _She asks softly, taking his hand, before shaking her head _ "Sorry that's a stupid question..." _She says regretfully a moment later.

"_M, I'm feeling ok, just the sooner we are out of here the better" _She hears him respond, sounding slightly irritated and agitated about still being here.

"_Phil, they are just doing their jobs, remember what the doctor said, you need to relax ok?" _She says trying to reason with him.

"_Yes Ma'am" _He throws her a mock salute.

"_Oh you know how to listen do you?" _She asks him jokingly.

"_I'm sorry" _He says his tone of voice suddenly serious.

"_What?" _She asks confused.

"_I'm sorry for being such a jerk to you before you went away" _He says softly.

"_It's ok" _She says kissing his forehead gently, secretly wishing they were not in this position, she doesn't want to have to see him go through something this traumatic on his own, or well ever.

She doesn't want to think that he possibly could have a slim chance of it being pancreatic cancer, she just wants the old him back.

She just wants to be able to take him home.

She just wants him to be ok.

* * *

_**A/N 2: Please Read And Review as always x x x**_


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